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.......has betrayed me!
Seriously. You ever been sitting there by yourself, and you have to fart, so you give it a little push? Ever have one of those farts seep out of your ass, look you dead in the face and bitchslap the taste out of your mouth and the smell out of your nose?
Yeah, it's one of those. It's fucking mutiny, I tell ya. I have never felt so sorry for a chair before in my life. I can actually see this fart. I know I'm not hallucinating because my dogs took one look at this fart and got the fuck out of the room. It's that mean looking. I can't fucking breathe. Seriously, I need a doctor. Or a cop. This has got to be some sort of terrorist attack. I'm afraid that if I open the window, it'll kill the neighbors cats as well as my lawn. I am living in fear of my own ass.
Pray for me. My asshole is obviously possessed.
Seriously. You ever been sitting there by yourself, and you have to fart, so you give it a little push? Ever have one of those farts seep out of your ass, look you dead in the face and bitchslap the taste out of your mouth and the smell out of your nose?
Yeah, it's one of those. It's fucking mutiny, I tell ya. I have never felt so sorry for a chair before in my life. I can actually see this fart. I know I'm not hallucinating because my dogs took one look at this fart and got the fuck out of the room. It's that mean looking. I can't fucking breathe. Seriously, I need a doctor. Or a cop. This has got to be some sort of terrorist attack. I'm afraid that if I open the window, it'll kill the neighbors cats as well as my lawn. I am living in fear of my own ass.
Pray for me. My asshole is obviously possessed.
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