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1. Make sure you have a decent parts chaser vehicle (something that will go from Point A to Point B and back again without any problems or worries)
2. Using any means possible, locate any and all establishments within a 30 mile radius that sells frosty beverages
3. Make prefunctory calls to several buddies, work into the conversation that you may require some assistance (note location of buddies to frosty beverage establishments....just in case)
4. Make sure shop fridge is fully stocked with frosty beverages
4(a) if shop fridge is not available then dig around the back of the shop and locate that old cooler, find a place for the stuff that is in it and go wash it out (soap is optional)
4(b) fill cooler with frosty beverages and ice, add just a splash of water (a couple of inches in the bottom will do) ((on particularly hot days a sprinkle of rock salt is a nice addition to the ice))
5. Approach truck from the front, open and close hood several times before leaving it in the open position.
6. Contemplate the status of the underside of the hood, is it dirty? caked with goo? paint blistered? etc
7. Carefully assess how the hinges attach to the hood and truck, pay special attention to the pivot points
8. Close hood, open frosty beverage
9. Call friends (2 to 3 is good, 5 or 6 is a great party)
10. While waiting for friends, pace back and forth in front of truck, wring hands while trying to maintain a thoughtful and worried expression on your face while repeating to yourself "am I doing the right thing? am I nuts?"
11. as friends start arriving provide them with frosty beverages
12. discuss last nights scores (basketball, baseball, football, the race, amatuer night at the local strip club, etc)
13. dissappear into shop and rumage around, dig out several old lawn chairs, a milk crate, and a 5 gallon bucket
14. Pass these around while directing friend closest to frosty beverage container to bring another round
15. Try to work into the conversation the trucks hood front clip
16. Dodge your friends lame attempt to bonk you in the forehead and head over to the frosty beverage container for another round
17. order a pizza
18. tell little woman that you guys are just messing around with the truck and you'll be done in a few minutes
19 laugh heartily at your buddy who just fell off the bucket and now has his foot stuck in it
20. Try and remember the name of the friend of a friend of a friend that might have traded 2 leaf blowers and a riding mower that only went in reverse for a pressure washer
21. Send bucket boy for another round while trying not to spew frosty beverages from your noses while laughing at him
23. open and close hood several times while fondly expounding on the beauty of the old girl
24. duck to your left as bucket boy makes a half hearted swing to your head (I don't know what he was thinking? trying to sneak up with a bucket stuck to his foot.....clomp, shhhwish, clomp, shhhhwsih, clomp, shhhwish.....even a deaf mute could see that one coming)
25. your buddy is right, a small fire is just the thing to take the chill of the night air....search yard for anything resembling firewood
26. another round
27. Harass your buddy with all sorts of "sewing circle" and "STP squat to pee" jokes as his wife shows up and drags him away
28 promie bucket boy that you will help him remove the bucket if he goes and gets the next round
29. fondly slap fender of truck while stating "issa dam fine wazzzii, fine wazzzzaa, wazzitcalled......truck, yea fine truck!" "juss look atta way at 'ood uh...wazza, wazzi.....at 'ood....uh look at it. I love this truck!!!"
"you guys are ssshhtoo......shhhhhttoo.....are wazza......ssshhhhtoopid! ers nuddin wrong wit dat hooood..........."
30. wonder why its raining in your bedroom, open eyes to realize that you are not in your bedroom but are laying in your front lawn and your wife is standing on the porch with the sprinkler wrench in her hand and a very, very dissapointed look on her face..............
Leave the hood be
2. Using any means possible, locate any and all establishments within a 30 mile radius that sells frosty beverages
3. Make prefunctory calls to several buddies, work into the conversation that you may require some assistance (note location of buddies to frosty beverage establishments....just in case)
4. Make sure shop fridge is fully stocked with frosty beverages
4(a) if shop fridge is not available then dig around the back of the shop and locate that old cooler, find a place for the stuff that is in it and go wash it out (soap is optional)
4(b) fill cooler with frosty beverages and ice, add just a splash of water (a couple of inches in the bottom will do) ((on particularly hot days a sprinkle of rock salt is a nice addition to the ice))
5. Approach truck from the front, open and close hood several times before leaving it in the open position.
6. Contemplate the status of the underside of the hood, is it dirty? caked with goo? paint blistered? etc
7. Carefully assess how the hinges attach to the hood and truck, pay special attention to the pivot points
8. Close hood, open frosty beverage
9. Call friends (2 to 3 is good, 5 or 6 is a great party)
10. While waiting for friends, pace back and forth in front of truck, wring hands while trying to maintain a thoughtful and worried expression on your face while repeating to yourself "am I doing the right thing? am I nuts?"
11. as friends start arriving provide them with frosty beverages
12. discuss last nights scores (basketball, baseball, football, the race, amatuer night at the local strip club, etc)
13. dissappear into shop and rumage around, dig out several old lawn chairs, a milk crate, and a 5 gallon bucket
14. Pass these around while directing friend closest to frosty beverage container to bring another round
15. Try to work into the conversation the trucks hood front clip
16. Dodge your friends lame attempt to bonk you in the forehead and head over to the frosty beverage container for another round
17. order a pizza
18. tell little woman that you guys are just messing around with the truck and you'll be done in a few minutes
19 laugh heartily at your buddy who just fell off the bucket and now has his foot stuck in it
20. Try and remember the name of the friend of a friend of a friend that might have traded 2 leaf blowers and a riding mower that only went in reverse for a pressure washer
21. Send bucket boy for another round while trying not to spew frosty beverages from your noses while laughing at him
23. open and close hood several times while fondly expounding on the beauty of the old girl
24. duck to your left as bucket boy makes a half hearted swing to your head (I don't know what he was thinking? trying to sneak up with a bucket stuck to his foot.....clomp, shhhwish, clomp, shhhhwsih, clomp, shhhwish.....even a deaf mute could see that one coming)
25. your buddy is right, a small fire is just the thing to take the chill of the night air....search yard for anything resembling firewood
26. another round
27. Harass your buddy with all sorts of "sewing circle" and "STP squat to pee" jokes as his wife shows up and drags him away
28 promie bucket boy that you will help him remove the bucket if he goes and gets the next round
29. fondly slap fender of truck while stating "issa dam fine wazzzii, fine wazzzzaa, wazzitcalled......truck, yea fine truck!" "juss look atta way at 'ood uh...wazza, wazzi.....at 'ood....uh look at it. I love this truck!!!"
"you guys are ssshhtoo......shhhhhttoo.....are wazza......ssshhhhtoopid! ers nuddin wrong wit dat hooood..........."
30. wonder why its raining in your bedroom, open eyes to realize that you are not in your bedroom but are laying in your front lawn and your wife is standing on the porch with the sprinkler wrench in her hand and a very, very dissapointed look on her face..............
Leave the hood be
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