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Beer vs. Pussy

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  • Beer vs. Pussy

    Beer Versus Pussy
    A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement.
    Advantage: Beer.

    A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot.
    Advantage: Pussy.

    Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
    Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
    Advantage: Beer.

    Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not.
    Advantage: Draw.

    If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
    Advantage: Pussy

    24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in.
    Advantage: Pussy.

    Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
    Advantage: Pussy.

    If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
    Advantage: Beer.

    If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad.
    If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
    Advantage: Beer.

    6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
    6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
    Advantage: Pussy

    Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
    Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
    Advantage: Draw

    It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
    You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
    Advantage: Pussy


    If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
    If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
    Advantage: Pussy

    With beer, bigger is better.
    Advantage: beer.

    Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
    Advantage: beer.

    Pussy can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain God.
    Advantage: Pussy

    If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal.
    If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
    Advantage: Pussy


    Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
    Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
    Advantage: Pussy.

    If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
    If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
    Advantage: Draw

    If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
    If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
    Advantage: Beer.

    If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
    Advantage: beer.

    The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
    Advantage: Pussy.


    The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
    Advantage: Beer.

    Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
    Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
    Advantage: Draw

    Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, Killian's Red
    Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
    Advantage: Pussy.

    The government taxes beer.
    Advantage: Pussy.

    It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.
    Advantage: Pussy.

  • #2
    I'm not totally certain that Janet Reno has one, but I wish I were still working at (mumble) Info Systems. I would hang this anonymously in the lunch room.

    -denise

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    • #3
      So if pussy has the advantage one would think you would take that first... but in the field it seems that beer is usually taken first ......then the pussy....I think maybe a government grant should be applied for to study this further.....

      Comment

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