Jerry Falwell found unconscious, later dies.

[Cadavillac]

http://www.americablog.com/2007/05/breaking-news-anti-gay-bigot-jerry.html

When is the party?

[Morella]

I think he holds the record for stepping on his dick more than any other public figure.

[northgahearse]

now if pat roberson will just fallover we may have a chance

[Psychoholic]

About fucking time that asshole died.

[laidbackryder]

i think tammy faye will be next!

[Morella]

Do you suppose her family will want the original look? If so, some funeral home is going to have to go shopping for eye makeup.

-d

[Cadavillac]

I wonder if he banged his forehead on the corner of his desk when he face planted?

[Chace]

Best "Press Release" ever

At 12:41 pm, after :30-seconds of intense negotiations with Jesus, Falwell showed up at the Hell Admissions office, where he was denied an All Access Pass to the entertainment/amusement districts of Hell. At 12:43 pm, Falwell was thrown into the Emo Amphitheater in the emo district of Hell, during a live performance of Hawthorne Heights. Falwell was later admitted to Emo General Hospital, where he's recuperating from anal nerve damage that's caused a total loss of rectal reflexes. A doctor for the hospital confirmed that Falwell now has a bigger asshole to match his attitude.

Liberty University is the world’s largest evangelical university which Falwell founded, has cancelled online classes for today, and are flying all Christian flags on the campus at half-staff until further notice. Students are protesting his death, and are blaming the ACLU, and Satan. Jesus had no comment, but sources close to Heaven stated that "Falwell's legacy as a man of God is embarrassing."

Satan was on hand for comment, and stated: An asshole has died and it's time to remember him through his own words.

"Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions"

"AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals"

"The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country"

"If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being"

"Textbooks are Soviet propaganda"

"The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews"

"The whole (global warming) thing is created to destroy America's free enterprise system and our economic stability"

"God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve"

(re: 9/11 attacks) "...throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools, the abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked and when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad...I really believe that the pagans and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who try to secularize America...I point the thing in their face and say you helped this happen."

And....."What we've worked on for 30 years, to mobilize people of faith and value in this country, what we've done through these years is coming to culmination right now."

This is a man who's words should never be forgotten!

The press has largely abandoned their essential responsibility of exposing disinformation; instead, too often, they offer us two sets of competing lies.

[Luciferica F.D.]

LOL...

[Morella]

Textbooks are Soviet propaganda

I'm not sure that I disagree on that one, especially if you're talking about history books. One of my history profs in college nearly got chased out of the classroom for talking about how wonderful Communism was.

-d