What I want...

[dieseldiva]

What would be real nice is for me to be able to find a boy-toy willing to buy me a hearse (decent condition) and let me stay home to rebuild the engine and remodel it my way.Have really awesome ideas,but sadly,having to work 2 jobs right now(3 if ya count drill wkends)no time or extra $$.He could keep it at his place just NOT allowed to work on it unless I ask for help!Sadly,I don't think one of those animals exists.

[Bob Kinee]

He may be out there somewhere...but you better start diggin!

[dieseldiva]

LOL! I'd prob literally have to.

[Bob Kinee]

:ats your head:: it will all be alright.

[BIGEVIL]

Have really awesome ideas,but sadly,having to work 2 jobs right now(3 if ya count drill wkends)no time or extra $$

Hell, I remember when I had the time but no money. Now I have the money, but no time.

Sounds like you need a "sugar daddy' not a "boytoy".
So my dear, what are your qualifications? LOL

[dieseldiva]

Some1 in the same state?LOL! My best friend and her boyfriend keep tryin 2 set me up with people,but I guess I scare them off!They have me talkin to this guy now who's originally from Scotland,haven't brought up hearses yet...We shall see...

[Morella]

I actually have something close to that.

-denise

[Psychoholic]

Women usually complain that they can't find a man that has money, is considerate and will cater to their needs. The truth is that these men exist, but they already have boyfriends.

[BIGEVIL]

The truth is that these men exist, but they already have boyfriends.

Would those guys be Neil and Bob?

[Bob Kinee]

Would those guys be Neil and Bob?

Hey! Neil is a nice guy...leave him outta this!

[Morella]

Women usually complain that they can't find a man that has money, is considerate and will cater to their needs. The truth is that these men exist, but they already have boyfriends.

Funny, though, sometimes a woman meets the ideal man, but after the honeymoon is over, she's already ready for separate vacations and Lucy Ricardo beds. It takes your whole life to figure out what you want sometimes. I'm a refugee from the 60's-70's, so I would say that "love the one you're with" is pretty good advice. When you start getting pass the stage where you can lift your skirt and get anything you want, time starts to go by really quickly. That's when if you've got somebody, you don't divorce him for whistling or leaving the toilet seat up. Well shit, not for whistling anyway. One of these days, you won't be able to drive, or maybe you'll need a hand getting out of the bathtub.

-denise

[dieseldiva]

LOL! Already have boyfriends! Kinda funny seeins how I picked up the rumor I was lesbian and now bi at the bar I hang out in.I call it bein picky but I guess in my county if you're not screwin everything with 3 legs you're gay?! I thought it was funny as far as rumors go.Some of the closest friends I've had have been gay or bi so I suppose it's a compliment!

[Morella]

I wish I could go hang out in a bar, but I can't pass any of the sobriety tests, so I would go to jail if I got pulled over. My health is in such bad shape that all I want from doctors is pain relief until I die. Even though I would get released, because I can't drink, I would lose my car and have to bail out.

My husband is a truck driver, and I'm disabled, even though I don't get a dime for it. I feel great one week, and I'm dying the next. Sometimes I have great fun working on the hearse, which Tony buys me stuff for at the truck stops, and sometimes I get clinically depressed. I tried to kill myself this morning, using Russian Roulette, but the chamber came up empty.

Actually, I probably should stay away from message boards when I'm on the down side, because people tend to avoid people who talk about suicide or seem mentally ill, but sometimes the humor here cheers me up. Some of the goofiest, funniest shit that I've written were done less than an hour after I was in tears and wanting to die.

I'm probably losing my mind, but I have memories of living, not aging much, in my 30's or so in a place where there are no children, but I distinctly remember people who were mothers (or fathers), best friends, spouses, and lovers to me (not necessarily sexual lovers). That is, of course, considered sick and perverted, but it doesn't seem so to me, or this place that I consider "home" that I want to get to. I'm losing my memories of life before age 30, and when I try to think or talk about them, I get a whopping headache.

Well, what the fuck, so I'm insane. So many of you try to act insane, but it's actually really painful. Be crazy, not insane.

I wish I had a pretty woman to cuddle up with while the hubby is out of town, not for sex, just so that I wouldn't have to live and sleep alone for a few more days every month or so...and women are so much better for cuddling and talking to tham men are. Aside from that, if I were feeling happy right now, I would say that I had it good. I have five cars including a hearse, about $100 a month from mineral rights to buy auto parts, not to mention stuff like the GPS and big inverter that Tony bought me

-denise

[dieseldiva]

I don't think ur insane,sounds like just lonely and sick n tired of gettin screwed on help ya need and deserve.At least you do have a few things to cherish,which is good.

[Morella]

Thanks. I'm glad you didn't say to see a pshrink, too. I've been to one "notebook and pencil" and two "prescription pads", none of whom could make it cooking french fries at McDonald's. I even made a visit to one pill pusher because a friend who was dying wanted some Haldol to calm her nerves, and her doctor wouldn't prescribe it. A little time digging through the DSM-IV, and you can figure out exactly what you have to say to get the drugs you want. All they want to do is get rid of you and move the next patient in anyway. Isn't the information age grand?

Now I'm trusting my doctors, though, and they've got me fucked up like you wouldn't believe. I take an anti-seizure medicine, an antidepressant, today's trendy post-menopausal Premarin, whopping doses of Valium and Oxycodone, sometimes Melatonin and Benadryl if I still can't sleep, and I live in a "very strange new world" now. I no longer have the mind of a human being, and it's hilarious, frightening, confusing, and horribly depressing, sometimes all at the same time. I feel like Max (James Woods) in the movie Videodrome, walking around in a world where you don't know what is real and what is hallucination, you alienate your friends and lose your job, and finally, someone that you love and trust comes along, takes you by the hand, and tells you to blow your brains out.

I like my hearse, though. It's a 76 Superior sideloader, although the table may not roll out the left side after I get the electric A/C put in.

-denise