Question for the girls

[Morella]

I guess the only way I'm going to learn not to post my true feelings on this computer is to burn it in the fireplace.

[Flymanj3]

Well, if ya ask me.... SLAM!!!!
(damn guys, she really DID kick us out of this one)

[BIGEVIL]

Don't be hatin' because I have a penis!

I get that you want to go out and be social at a bar. Sitting at home sucks. You don't want to go to a regular bar so you won't get hassled by guys. But it is ok to be picked up on by a lesbian.

I am not here to judge, but are you just looking for social interaction or do you want to have a relationship with a woman? It seems like you are using "getting out" as an excuse to find a woman to hook up with.

Does Tony know you are going to be hooking up with a girl at the drop of a hat?
Whether it is a man or woman, if you are having sex with someone else and Tony doesn't know or approve, YOU ARE CHEATING!

[Flymanj3]

B, now we're both in trouble

[BIGEVIL]

and what you're giving me is criticism, from a man's point of view, that women are property.

No not at all. I have a high respect for you. Always have.

Bonding with a great friend is very healthy. But your biggest emotional investment should be with your spouse. If you unhappy with your situation, fix it or get out. Don't complicate it further by dragging another person (man or woman) in to a romantic/sexual relationship.

You are absolutely right, there is nothing wrong with a woman holding you and listening to your problems. But if you have sex, (no matter who initiated it) you crossed the line.

I think any man or WOMAN would agree with me.

[jlprigmore]

Not to barge into a heated debate here but I'd have to agree with Big here. Now on one hand having a good friend there for you to talk with to spend time with especially when the hubby aint around is completely and totally understandable. But the initial conversation from what I understood which is a man's point of view is it was more like you were asking if things went too far if it was okay or not. Now I'm gone all the time too, right now will be four months since I've seen my wife. This was a decision on both our parts for me to do this job. I promote her going out with friends and having friends over to keep her company while I'm gone. Now when I'm home every last minute is devoted to her, well except a few car shows here and there, but..... if she decided to get intimate with one of her friends that to me constitutes cheating in my book.

[Elvirathehearse]

Well I know this is none of my business, but my opinion is if anyone has sexual relations behind their spouses back thats cheating...but if you are able to have sexual relations with someone other than your spouse and the spouse is aware of it, that's swinging and if you are looking for someone to be a friend, to be there for you when needed, to hold you when you need held, and to confide in when you need a confidaunt then that's just friendship. In a recent poll I read about they said that about 90% of all women are bi-sexual anyway and most men, spouses, don't mind a little girl-girl play so long as they aren't hiding it from them......I know if my wife of 32 years would come to me and say she wanted to have sex with her girlfriend, the only thing I would ask of her is to get to watch....lol

[Guest]

i would say that if you have to ask, then you probably shouldn't be doing it.

i think it would be different if you had female friend for like years, that you're really close with. but waking up in bed with a girl you just met last night is probably pushing it, even if no sex happened.

but i agree with big evil, if your situation is upsetting you to the point where you have to consider stuff like this, you need to talk to tony and tell him what's up.

[BIGEVIL]

Ok, you need a black and white definition? Here it is.

If you participate in an intimate relationship or activity that should be reserved for only your spouse (emotional or otherwise) that does not involve your spouse (without their approval), or you do not actively discourage another from pursuing you in the same manner, YOU ARE CHEATING.


So use the following sentence to test yourself.
"Is it ok to ________ with anyone other than my spouse?"

[EvilManor]

Thursday night, I'm thinking about doing karaoke at a lesbian bar. I don't want to be hassled by guys, and I'm hoping to find a friend.

What happens if it turns into more than that? This is why I told the guys to stay out...you can "hit it an leave". A woman can get attached and not break herself free.


Could I get away with just having a friend, and keeping anything else that happens a secret?

The above things were included in your initial post, and probably why you are getting the types of responses. Were they included in your discussion with Tony?

[BIGEVIL]

What I'm saying is that I'm looking for a friend to spend time with, but the type of woman whom I am bound to be attracted to as a friend is also the type who may be able to talk me into doing some sexual favors for her.

Or did this come up in the phone conversation with Tony?

It should be apparent by now what is considered being unfaithful.

[EvilManor]

Exactly why I wanted a response from girls, not guys. It's your choice to fuck somebody, maybe brag about it to your friends, but a woman's heart can attach her to a person with her having no more control over it than over a fetus attaching itself to a uterine wall.

You want to be vindictive, not helpful, to my questions, perhaps because you think that a sexual relatiosnhip is a good thing, and it's what I'm after. I'm asking about going out to get on the mic, but what could turn into the last chance I may have to find a friend, and what happens if it goes wrong?

You're never going to understand because you're men, and evidently the women here aren't interested. I'm tired of getting the third degree, instead of helpful answers, so I'm going to let it go. Maybe I'm better off alone anyway.

I wasn't trying to be vindictive at all,and I'm sorry something I said made you feel that way. You said "No one else has been less vindictive about this than Tony was. Ironic,eh?"

I was just trying to point out things you said in your original post and why you were getting those type (as you said vindictive) of responses. If you didn't say those things to Tony or ask in the same manner then he's going to have a different reaction/answer and so would of those on here.