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**hotroddwayne** · 03-07-2009, 01:31 PM

Wearing the ring on your right hand is cool, depending on how you react to wearing it. From a guy's point of view it's not so much the ring... it's how you deal with it. It's beautiful & should be worn, but if you're going to be with someone else & talk about the past... staring at the ring remembering a love lost, then put it away. If you admire it just for it's beauty & not bad memories then wear it, so it also depends on what it stirs in your mind. Momentos like rings & wedding photos are a touchy subject, but an understanding man will accept it as long as they're not dwelled on.

**hotroddwayne** · 03-07-2009, 01:47 PM

Guys, would it bother you to see your girlfriend wearing her diamond engagement ring from a previous marriage?

What have you done with the jewelry from discarded relationships?

Oh... forgot the last part of your question! I was with someone for 5 years, at one point engaged, but when we broke up she left the engagement ring (she didn't wear it anyway honesty) so I have a $3,500 rock that maybe someday I can trade in on another. The jeweler will give me full credit on it towards another ring, but first I need to find that special lady to take that step with. I will not lie about it & give the ring to another woman... I couldn't live with myself knowing that ring was bought for someone else. Your situation is different though since it's an antique, but from a guy's standpoint I for one wouldn't give a symbol of love such as an engagement ring to another woman.

**StrayCat** · 03-07-2009, 01:51 PM

Originally posted by hotroddwayne View Post

Wearing the ring on your right hand is cool, depending on how you react to wearing it. From a guy's point of view it's not so much the ring... it's how you deal with it. It's beautiful & should be worn, but if you're going to be with someone else & talk about the past... staring at the ring remembering a love lost, then put it away. If you admire it just for it's beauty & not bad memories then wear it, so it also depends on what it stirs in your mind. Momentos like rings & wedding photos are a touchy subject, but an understanding man will accept it as long as they're not dwelled on.

Agreed. Men don't tend to think of jewelry, ANY jewelry, to mean anything really significant on even a daily basis. It may well be an afterthought, but women always get onto men about wearing their wedding bands far more often than a guy will get onto a woman.

The other thing is that if he were to catch you looking at it, and see an obvoius change of mood. ie: You're in the car on a drive and laughing and giggling, then he looks over as you twist the ring on your finger and watches the smile turn to a frown, then there will be an issue for sure. Different men will take it in a different way. Some won't care. But they are a minority. Some will feel like they are not doing enough to help you be happy with things as they are "now". Some may think you are bi polar,( joking....well sorta)......so in the end it will really only depend on how YOU deal with it and feel about the issue. If you are comfortable with looking at it for what it IS and not what it MEANT at one time, you should be very well in the clear. But that is a decision only you can make.

**60Crown** · 03-07-2009, 01:55 PM

Exquisite, assuredly.

I would've agreed that it wouldn't have bother me to have seen worn on a right hand - until that scenario played out with me for the first time last year. Different reasons and not quite the same situation but those 2 diamond rings (along with a 10 year anniversary) provided friction for sure. Honesty plays a significant role.

Melting should never be an option given the craftsmanship. Granted the secondary (or tertiary, etc.) market may not be prime - it is a safe assumption that the right new home will eventually present itself. An owner that loves and admires that ring for the very same reasons you do.

Glaze your eyes when viewing. Still see a ring? I see Helen's debutante makeover into a elegant young princess.

And that is something you would enjoy equally as much.

PS: The one time I was engaged, I was given the ring back. After a couple years of being forgotten about, I gave it to a friend who couldn't afford an engagement ring for his girlfriend.

**StrayCat** · 03-07-2009, 02:00 PM

Yeah i missed the last part too.

I've never had to deal with this particular type of situation before. But here's something that will put it in persepective anyhow....

I have a rosary. Ruby, diamond, silver, made sometime around 1650 insured for 17k. I am not at all a belief in god person, and most DEFINITELY not catholic. But it is a very pretty peice, and I love looking at it for what it is.........

**60Buick** · 03-07-2009, 02:21 PM

It really depends on how you act about the ring. If it's just another ring on your hand and its no big deal to you, then it will not be a big deal to him. But if you can't leave the house with out it and it is a treasured item that means more to you than your hearse, then it is a problem. That makes the guy wonder if it is so meaningful because of who gave it to you and possible lingering feelings. Just don't give them a reason for the ring to be an issue.

Aslo any guy that is a dick about a ring just because of who gave it to you has jealousy or insecurity issues anyway.

**TWHawk** · 03-07-2009, 02:52 PM

Guys, thank you so much for the responses. They really do help.

Nate has told me that he wouldn't mind me wearing the ring, but I worry sometimes that he spends too much energy telling me what he thinks I want to hear. On the other hand, I am not worried at all about jealousy issues as we've been friends for about sixteen years. The boy knows.

The only lingering feelings would be a smidge of bitter and resentment. I don't blame the ring, and those feelings are going to resurface with or without it.

I have an affection for antique engagement rings, so this could really just be integrated to the collection. I guess I am just wondering about the etiquette and whether continuing to enjoy this particular fine antique would be somehow disrespectful to Nate, or falsely indicative of lingering regard for my ex.

Atti, Helen’s new paint has indeed crossed my mind, but even if I get retail off the sale of the ring, it wouldn’t quite cover it.

However, I have this cocktail ring with a 5 carat cognac diamond… That would buy paint and a new interior assuming I could find a buyer.

**STODD** · 03-08-2009, 10:08 AM

Patti Esbia Antique & Estate Jewelry
326 Peruvian Ave
Palm Beach, FL 33480

(561) 833-9448

Give Patti a call, get her email and send her some pics of the ring. I know this woman well enough and if a truly fair price can be paid for it, she will do it. She is very nice.

As far as wearing it on the other hand, I'm a practical dude. I'd respect a woman that would "recycle" a ring like that. You did say it is beautiful and you like it, so resize it, wear it on the other hand and chuckle everytime you just happen to remember the asshole that gave it to you that he bought you a nice piece of jewelery(sorry bout the sentence, I was rolling).

**TWHawk** · 04-29-2009, 12:18 AM

Well, it’s done.

I went to court yesterday and testified for permanent orders. The Crackhead was absent as expected, and I’ll not have to deal with him anymore.

Shortly after creating this thread, I discussed the ring with Nate, and we decided I should keep it. I traded the center diamond for a lab created stone, and he had the real one placed in the engagement ring he has waiting for me. It’s a symbolic gesture recognizing that the past is made up of important milestones, and even the heartbreaking events add to the tapestry of our lives.

I won’t wear the new ring just yet. Even though Nate has been a dear friend for over fifteen years, and my lover for a year and a half, it’s going to take me some time to be sure I’m ok with that next step. We’ll give it at least another month to see if I am going to have some sort of nasty emotional fallout. Once I’m certain of my stability, I’ll propose to him. I have told him it may be years before I am willing to make it legal, and he is content with that.

For now, it’s a blessing to have the chapter closed, and to be moving onward.

.

**Scary Guy** · 04-29-2009, 02:30 AM

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http://www.bluelips.com/pd_wedding_ring_coffin.cfm

**Highbars** · 04-29-2009, 02:36 PM

Just coming on to this late... as usual... I think you done good with the ring..... and time is right thing now... hate to friendships change as relationships evolve...But then I'm divorced also for 7 years now and nothing in the winds.... and as for the memories of bitterness and resentment.... well Grandma said it best..."These too in time will pass." So carry on and get on with life ... Forward is the only direction left... can't go back.....Highbars

**Tweek's Turbos** · 04-29-2009, 07:34 PM

Sell the stone, replace it with a zircon.

No, I love a girl with an eye for the ecclectic and rare. You would get burried with it, our offspring would get the one I give you. (hypothetically)

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