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**Morella** · 11-10-2009, 09:15 PM

BTW, the airplane in my siggy picture is ours, free and clear. I bought it in pieces and put it together after some dumbass ran it into a ditch, and it flies like a bitch now. I'm licensed to work on them as well as fly them.

The dog was mine. I raised him from a puppy, he was the smartest dog I have ever seen in my life, and he loved to go for a ride in anything, boats, planes, cars, funeralracers, or whatever. Unfortunately, that led to his death. He knew that he wasn't supposed to be in the cars when I was moving them around, so he snuck into one while I wasn't looking and hid in the back seat. I tried to start it and the battery was dead, so I opened the hood and got the battery charger, and closed the door, not knowing that he was in the car. The car was parked in the hot sun, and he died in it. We found him a few hours later, curled up on the floor under the back seat, dead. I loved that dog more than any person I've ever met, and I felt like I had killed my own son. That was at least a year ago, and it's the reason why his picture will probably always be in my sig.

So if your internet access is slow and it slows you down...tough shit.

-denise

**Psychoholic** · 11-11-2009, 08:46 AM

My brother just went back on the road with Prime and is pretty unhappy with them - if you need good drivers I know a few.

It is on my 3 year plan to buy a plane (as in, 3 years from now I'll start working on a pilots license and buy a plane) - so I'll be picking your brain from time to time.

Sorry to hear about the dog, that makes me sad. I generally don't like people, but we are huge dog lovers (couldn't give a fuck about cats either, but that's mostly because they are unappreciative and I'm allergic to them) - so we understand.

**Morella** · 11-11-2009, 10:46 AM

It sounds like you and I have some stuff in common. I may have to get your address soon, in case we stop over in Atlanta. I'll mention to Tony that you know some drivers too, although the economic situation is not right to put any more trucks on the road right now.

You are wise to consult me before you buy an airplane, and I'll give you a discount on your prebuy inspection, which you're a fool if you don't do. I can also ferry it home for you if it's all fucked up, but I don't give discounts on that, because it's so god damned dangerous, no matter how much time I spend inspecting it, and I have to certify to the FAA that it will fly. At least one seal usually blows, or the fuel strainer gets clogged and the engine dies, and none of the instruments ever work right, so if you get into soup or smoke and it creeps up behind you, you are megafucked if you don't think fast. Two of us had to jack up a collapsed nose wheel one time, clamp a 1/2" ratchet to the drag strut to hold it down, and fly the aircraft with the gear down. Then there is the possibilty of a fire. If it starts to burn, I will fly it into the ground rather than burn to death with it. Getting pissed off at an airplane that won't fly right is the best way to get out of an emergency, and I've had to do it more than a few times. A pilot who freaks out in an emergency is dead.

If you want to know the laws regarding a pilot's license, they are in a book called FAR-AIM, which is available in any pilot shop. Talk to me before you take your FAA written as well, and I'll tell you how to breeze through it. I may even be able to save you from having to take ground school, if you pick up Kirschner's primary flight book, and answer me some questions.

Keep in mind, though, that flying can be boring to some people. I've been known to tune in the ADF, which can pick up radio stations, and listen to tunes. I've even put earpieces under my headset, turned off all of the radios, and jammed out, although I lost the engine that way on my first cross-country flight, and I lost so much altitude by the time I got it restarted that I had already called in an emergency dead-stick landing at the nearest airport. I got it restarted because I'm a mechanic, and I know what almost any engine is doing by the sound of it. I don't like single-engine IFR either, especially over the ocean, although if you want to visit the islands out here, you don't have much choice. I still remember when I lost the attitude gyro and had to balance the aircraft on the compass card, and Tony wouldn't shut the fuck up until I yelled at him.

I hope I haven't changed your mind, though. Most of flying is pretty routine, and aircraft are built so well that accidents are rare. You won't be pulling any smog pumps, or any bullshit like that, and if somebody has nigger-rigged it, I wouldn't let you buy it. Some people do it, but if I see even one nigger-rig, I don't sign off on anything, even if it means getting fired. Air cargo is a little different, but I need to shut up about that now that I've gone pro, and I'm not some stupid kid playing with large aircraft and drunk or drugged-up pilots.

-denise

**Psychoholic** · 11-11-2009, 11:29 AM

Sounds like a hell of a deal to me. I'd like to have someone on my side who is looking after my best interest in something like a plane, so I'll be taking you up on your offer.

I don't know that I'd be wanting to do any real distance flying since it's probably pretty boring a monotonous - but I'm the kind of idiot who would very quickly looking for something faster that can do stunts with, so I'd probably need lots of time in the saddle before I get truly stupid.

Maybe something like an MX2 =) I mean shit, if you're going to buy a plane, might as well cost more than the house....

**pyro** · 11-11-2009, 12:32 PM

Hit me up, as I worked on aircraft for 22 years in the military. A&P stuff, but no license. I find that the civilian market for mechanics is too unstable for my liking

**Morella** · 11-11-2009, 03:08 PM

Pyro, you're not kidding, and that was what sent me back to college originally to become a Systems Engineer. Nobody, not even that little FBO next to Ft. Campbell, was hiring. Without an A&P, you are also fucked, although you can get one in less than three years if you just take the stuff that you didn't do in the military, if they haven't changed the law. We had plenty of ex-military in rope and dope and legal procedures classes when I was in school. Just keep in mind that civilian aviation law is very, very different from military ops. My mother was an educational psychologist who put some military aviation procedures together, and the only thing I could help her with was some of the nomenclature.

Chris, you're making me think of a Citabria, (spell it backwards), although they're getting old now, and like most, if not all, of Bellanca's shit, they're rope and dope. You might have to have one recovered and the wood and stitching checked carefully. A Pitts Special would be fun too. You see them at almost every air show. When I worked for (mumble), we had a pilot who wasn't allowed to fly because he had a cast on his leg. He got so pissed off that he got into his Pitts and buzzed the hangar and pulled some manuevers. The only problem with a Pitts is that it's single-pilot and kind of tight. Somebody will want to go for a ride, and you won't be able to take them. At least the Citabria has room for two, front and back. Both are tail draggers, which pulls me out of my area of expertise, except for the Beech Turbine 18 conversion, which is a cargo plane now, at least in this country.

I need to update my knowledge a little, but I've been licking my chops over that new R22. Even though it's a straight-legger, it's reasonably fast, and it has the new no-yokes and all of the goodies in the panel. I like the old Lance as well, especially since they're just the right size to carry body bags...a hearse with wings. Tony said that he would absolutely refuse to let me paint landau bars on it, though.

I still have a very strong lust to fire up R2800's and smoke out the ramp, or taxi in with Darts and make everybody put their fingers in their ears. The only problem with Darts is that you spend all of your money on torque pressure transmitters...other than that, they will run for months with nothing but a quart of oil now and then. They don't have shit for bleed air, but you can attach a cabin supercharger to the gearbox.

Geez...talk about shit that's worth more than your house, but I love big airplanes. Our PA28-160 makes me feel like I'm going to fall through the runway into hell when I land it. You just keep sinking and sinking, waiting for the touchdown, trying to get the hell out of ground effect, and then a 727 touches down on the parallel runway and blows you halfway across the airport, and you had better have your ass on that throttle, or you're going to end up sideways across some airline's hangar. I finally learned how to time my speeds to sequence between the wakes of those things when the airport gets busy, but, like I said, airplanes can be dangerous as hell. I've put in my time working on the little ones; in fact, mine came off of the trailer so disassembled and fucked up that I nearly built it from scratch, but I still say the bigger the better. I also prefer Cessnas to Pipers, because they taxi a FUCK of a lot smoother, the nose wheel casters enough to steer it with the brakes on the ground, and it doesn't float in GE on a hot day while you're trying to set it down. You can also drop beer bottles out the windows without smashing them into the tail like a Piper, but as I said, that life goes back a long, long time. I'm a professional now, and I don't even drink or smoke, even when I'm off-duty.

-denise

**Morella** · 11-11-2009, 08:07 PM

I've been rambling on, and I need to clear some things up about aerobatics and flight. Some of them, I have learned the hard way, and I do not want any pilot to read something that I wrote, try it, and lose his/her life.

Sometimes I brag about things I have done, but in fact, I have come very close to losing my life in aircraft. I have received applause from crowds who came out to watch someone die in a crash, and walked away feeling good about it, a feeling which I get by singing karaoke now instead, because I have half a brain.

I am one of the few pilots in this country who has flown through SEVERE turbulence. Many of them think that they have, but they haven't been there. The storms across California were so severe that LAX was closed to passenger jet traffic, every small airport in the area was closed, and if my aircraft had been carrying passengers, there is no doubt in my mind that we would all have died. In fact, another aircraft, the same model as mine, was splattered into a mountain range, on my flight path, and Tony freaked out when he heard the news, because he thought that it was mine. The reason that I made this flight was totally unacceptable...we were rolling out a new product at work and didn't have a test server, I was the very best Tru64 specialist at work, and I was picking up equipment at my own expense so that I could finish the project on time. A weather briefing told me that no aircraft could fly in that area because of severe turbulence with tops above 40,000 feet, and I chose to "scud run" underneath it near a mountain range. If I catch anyone trying to fly into "below VFR" weather in my aircraft, I can guarantee you that they will never even be allowed to wash and wax it.

Let me catch my breath.

First of all, I strongly suggest that you practice any aerobatic maneuver, in any aircraft, with an instructor who is experienced with them before you try them by yourself. Some aircraft, especially Cessnas, are built for new pilots, and are so stable that they can be returned to level flight from almost any loss of attitude or pilot vertigo simply by closing the throttle and letting go of the controls. These aircraft, along with proper instruction, have saved many, many lives. Other aircraft can be extremely temperamental.

ALWAYS wear your seat belt. Aircraft are not the same as cars. Turbulence can and WILL suddenly hit you and throw you out of your seat, knocking you unconscious.

Have all of your limitations, know your performance characteristics from your flight manual, and have it in the aircraft. Know your speeds, because you will be asked, but don't count on your memory. Paint them onto your airspeed indicator if they aren't there. Do a preflight inspection before any flight, and use your checklist, no matter how well you know your aircraft. If you fail to do this on your FAA check ride, that is an automatic bust.

ALWAYS make sure that you have enough DENSITY altitude to recover from a manuever, and do not try them anywhere near mountains. An unstoppable and sudden downdraft, causing a drop of altitude of a thousand feet or more in a matter of seconds is ROUTINE in the Rocky Mountain area, where I live, and Tony and I both know to expect it, especially near the ranges. Know your terrain, and how it will affect your aircraft. These downdrafts are almost always followed by severe updrafts, which a fool will try to surf on, just to see how fast his airplane will go, which can overspeed the engine or cause the aircraft to exceed Vmo, or even Vne. The correct procedure is to pull back the power, climb back up to your cruising altitude, and stabilize your aircraft to normal flight. You will most likely never find this in any aviation book, for liability reasons. It is my gift of experience.

Have enough fuel to reach your destination, with the proper reserves. Do not trust your gauges. Dip your tanks. If you land on the road because you ran out of fuel, the highway patrol will not block traffic and let you take off. They will tell you to push your aircraft off of the road and have someone come out, take it apart, and trailer it to the airport, which will cost you many thousands of dollars; however, if you have to do it, save your life. I once nearly died in a fire because I took an airplane up, knowing that it was shooting oil into the muffler and wouldn't run on either mag by itself, because it was too much trouble and expense to take the wings off and trailer it home. That is nearly suicidal, although it was a ferry flight, and all ferry flights are nearly suicidal. It had been sitting outside on the ramp for 12 years without being touched, and it blew the dry vacuum pump adapter seal, which can't be visually inspected. To compound my stupidity, I will tell you that I had already made a one-shot, excessive crosswind emergency landing at that airport because the engine lost oil pressure.

Know how much your fuel weighs, and what affect it will have on your aircraft's performance. My aircraft carries over 300 pounds of fuel, the weight of two passengers, with the weight centered just over the spar. The exact data are in my flight manual, in my seat pocket. One night, in the winter, when performance is at its highest because density altitude is at its lowest, we went to Laughlin via PHX with four people in the aircraft. It was hotter when we returned, so we took on less fuel. We landed at Goodyear, which was just about to close, so we didn't get fuel. We had calculated our fuel to Goodyear, not to Tucson, and we took off at night. Near Marana, I heard the engine begin to beg for more fuel, and I told Tony to turn on the boost pump. He made the stupid mistake of asking "Why?", and I yelled, "BECAUSE YOU ARE ABOUT TO RUN YOUR FUCKING TANK DRY! Get ready to switch tanks, in a hurry." Just then, the engine began to stumble and die, and Tony switched tanks in time to get it going. He asked me if I thought we had enough fuel to make TUS, and I asked if he thought that we had enough fuel to try to make an emergency landing in the desert, at night, and kill us both, because the other tank was reading empty. I told him to set down at Marana, and he had better god damn well make it on the first try. He did. We sat leaning up against a hangar at Marana for four hours, trying to get a taxi, and no one would come out, but in my opinion, we deserved to have sat there for four days for our stupidity.

As a tribute to Piper, whose aircraft have saved my life more than a few times, here is the story of the PA28, which is really not a bad airplane, if you don't have to take the wings off. It will get you to your destination in almost exactly half the time it takes to drive to it, and it is friendly to students, provided that they understand this information.

When the first PA28-140s came out, they were a two-place aircraft. The powerplant was a 150 HP Lycoming O-320, derated to 140 HP. Because there was so much real estate behind the back seat, Piper made it into a four-seat aircraft in a very strange way. They put in some simple back seats that just snap in, and brought the engine up to 150 HP by decreasing the propeller pitch by two inches. The FAA issued two airworthiness certificates, one normal category, and one utility category. Because the CG was brought backwards when people sat in the rear seats, which makes any manuever more difficult to recover from, the aircraft was operated in two ways. When rear passengers were in the aircraft, it was considered to be operated in the "normal" category, and ANY manuever exceeding normal flight operations, including stalls, were prohibited. When the rear seats were empty, the aircraft was operated in the "utility" category, and some manuevers were allowed, which you can find in your manual, if you fly one.

Personally, I consider this to be one of the stupidest things that has ever been done to an aircraft, except, perhaps, Mooney's attaching the aluminum body directly to steel and stuffing in fiberglass insulation, directly violating the guidelines listed in FAA publication
43.13-1A, acceptable standards and practices.

Tony and I own the 160 HP model, S/N 85, one unique aircraft whose wings are unique to its one serial number, and cannot be replaced by any other wing. You can find this in the maintenance manual. It was built for a special purpose in 1961, perhaps to test the four-place characteristics. This is the only model PA28 I know that is equipped with a fixed factory rear seat and a cargo door, and was designed as a four-place aircraft.

The engine power was brought up to 160 HP by installing a higher compression, more powerful engine, which is why I feel more comfortable in it than I do in a 140. It is also equipped with a cargo door, which no other model is. The propeller is the same Sensenich model that was originally used on the original 140 HP model, but it puts out a rated 160 HP with that propeller. If I were to install the propeller that was used to N-rig the original 140 to 150 HP, our cruise airspeed would decrease, and our climb performance would increase. It is considered a "climb prop" on our aircraft, because we have an engine that puts out 20 HP more.

There is also a Cherokee 180, which uses the O-360 engine, and the Cherokee 235, whose fuel system includes tip tanks, and is so complicated that many of them have gone down due to fuel starvation despite plenty of fuel left in the tanks, the same problem that twin-engine pilots often have when they try to fly unfamiliar aircraft.

OK, if anything that I have said saves a life, then perhaps I have made up for some of my stupidity. Thanks for reading all of this, or printing it out.

-denise

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