My life altering night...

[Morella]

wheres stodd when yuou need him?

If I remember correctly, he hangs out in a place called the Men's Department. The name indicates that it would be located in the prejudice-free propinquity, but you can probably just check with Shore Patrol.

Hope this helps.

-d

[spastic_chicken]

She does see that...the problem is with me and my vises, not her and her unwillingness to improve herself. I pushed her into the corner she was (is) in. I am changing my ways to defuse the situation. But I am still scared she will attempt this again.

What vise would cause someone to do that?

[Custom Coffin Works]

What vise would cause someone to do that?

To put it bluntly...my insistent metaling in to other peoples lives and trying to make them conform to mine. I do this a lot. More than I need to. I took it upon myself to try and "Fix" someone. I did this the wrong way and when called out, ignored what was important in my life and followed my head. I would not back down in my corner and refused any other way she had to offer. Bottom line, my fault for not meeting her half way. I was doing something I believed in and put the wrong people first in my life. I realize now the important things and how stupid I can be. I will not trade my wife's life for something I believe in. Just not worth it.

[Custom Coffin Works]

Update...the consoler was 25 miles away and a joke. In and out in just 15 minutes. $200 bones out the window. She is now seeing a therapist closer to our home, but it is in the same building as the "other" woman. God sure does have a way of fucking with me. I am on a hair trigger as every time we have a heated discussion, I'm worried about her doing something stupid. I wake up in the middle of the night and check to see if she is alive still. She has all the pills she needs again. Not my idea. Her family is pissed with her and has pretty much disowned her because she refuses to kick me out. We love each other and are above simple relationships as other are. It is the disagreements we have that cause the problems. We are both stubborn people.

[kaptinkaos]

You both will pull through this. Time is all you need.

[Psychoholic]

Does she have any other friends than you or yours? Maybe someone else that she is really close to that can be objective and help her get balanced again?

It sucks that you are in this situation and she is feeling this way - I'm told that hopelessness is a horrible feeling, and depression doubly so.

If there is anything that we can help with, just ask.

[Custom Coffin Works]

Does she have any other friends than you or yours? Maybe someone else that she is really close to that can be objective and help her get balanced again?

It sucks that you are in this situation and she is feeling this way - I'm told that hopelessness is a horrible feeling, and depression doubly so.

She has more friends on her side than I do. I'm not the type to go out and hang with people. Problem with her "Friends" are they are all giving Oprah type advice. Leave him...tell him to pack his bags...and such. What they don't know is the type of relationship we share. We are able to do these things other would scoff at, because of this deep bond we have. In the past it was her that screwed up not once but three separate times. Hey I understand, we all make mistakes. I knew she loved me and was not doing these things to hurt me. So everyone who doesn't know the whole story is quick to give the Dr. Phil advice. It just is way to complicated to explain.

As far as the hopelessness... ya, let me tell you. I sit here now after a heated conversation again, watching her without her knowing I;m watching. Following her around when she takes her nightly meds. Feeling her breath at night. Hoping she doesn't surrender to the hundreds of thousands of pills surrounding her in her everyday job. It is a hell I have to deal with now. So my four years of poor judgement to her 23 years with me, 18 years with our oldest son, 13 years with our youngest, 40 years with both of her parents. I think we should call it a draw and move on.

[pyro]

Seperation sucks, so dont do it because you want to. Do it because there is absolutly no other choice or hope of change between the two of you.

I dont personaly know you, and wont pretend to have a firm grasp of the situation because of conversartions in here, but each choice is made on personal differences and how one weighs his own self worth. What ever your decions may be, make them from self reflection and an understanding of whats to come.
I.m down in Tucson, so if you need to motor down here to cool your heels and have a beer, we can do that too. There is a car show every fri night.

[Dropped84]

At the risk of sounding shallow, the ones who truly want to kill themselves always succeed.

The ones who try half assed are needing help but going about it in a very selfish way.

I really have mixed feelings on the subject. I hate to see any family go through this though. My thoughts are with you.

Agreed... I know of so many people that have "tried" and talk about it all the time and do nothing, but my Dad never spoke of it didnt expect it at all and he did it and succeded.... Sucks how things work out

[Custom Coffin Works]

I agree and disagree. In this case, she knew I would ultimately have the last decision on weather or not to call 911 or just let her slip away. She was smart about it and set the stage for a quiet passing in the night. Obviously I made the right call (without any thought mind you), but she doesn't seem to appreciate the fact that I made the right call. After I think about it, it is a weird feeling to have someones life in your hands. That moment seemed to me like an eternity but I was dialing the number before the note hit the floor. This is going to fuck with my head for a long time.