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fuck New Jersey

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  • fuck New Jersey

    How shall I say "Fuck New Jersey"? Let me count the ways...

    If you happen to live in New Jersey...

    Fuck You.

    If you like to drive to New Jersey, I hope your car develops a problem with the ECU and shuts down intermittently, in the middle of rush hour traffic, and gets towed to a New Jersey impound lot.

    If you like to fly to New Jersey, common gate rape is too good for you. I hope you get called for one of the new random body cavity searches, and your naked picture from the scanner gets put into a Youtube video, in lewd and provocative poses with various farm animals.

    If you consume dairy products from New Jersey, I hope you develop a kidney stone the size of a golf ball, and get a painful permanent erection while you're trying to pass it. If you don't have a penis, I hope you grow one just for this purpose, develop a fondness for it, and then lose it in an accident with a power tool.

    If you have a grandmother in New Jersey, I hope she gets raped by a basketball team from Indiana, and doesn't happen to enjoy it, this particular time.

    If you like to walk on the beach in New Jersey, I hope you step on a Haitian homosexual hemophiliac's heroin syringe, contract full-blown AIDS, lose your job and health insurance, and get put into the Barack Hussein Obama Memorial Hospital under a government health care plan until you die in agony, coughing your lungs out and covered in oozing purple sores.

    New Jersey is definitely not one of my favorite places.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Morella View Post
    New Jersey is definitely not one of my favorite places.
    Thanks for the clarification because I had no clue with the above text.

    Clerks is the only thing I like that came out of NJ. There might be some other stuff but none of it comes to mind right now. Although for the most part I agree.

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