Shit that just can't happen

[Morella]

Tony and I have been in Vegas the past week. In all of the years that we have been playing video poker, I have never hit a royal flush. He has hit several of them, usually when he has one coin left and he's just getting rid of it (a royal pays 5x as much when you play 5 coins).

But that's not the really bizarre shit. Wednesday, we sat down at a VP bar and we each threw in a $100. We were playing quarters five across. Tony got dealt a flush, four high spades and one 8 of spades. Simple math strategy says to keep the flush, never throw away a winner, but he decided what the hell, to throw away the 8 and go for the Royal...

...and it hit...he won $1000.

But wait, there's more...

Not even 45 minutes later, he was dealt four high spades, all face cards, and the 9 of spades. He called the bartenders and the other players nearby to come look at it, because here was the same thing again...do you throw away the flush and go for the royal? He did, the 9 turned into a 10...bingo. You could hear me shout "HOLY FUCK!" all the way to Laughlin.

You see, this is why I am agnostic, and not atheist. Because ridiculous shit, bizarre shit that just can't happen, sometimes does. The difference between me and religious people is that I accept that, instead of trying to come up with a myth to explain it.

Now why the fuck can't I get a royal flush? Is it because I'm evil?

[Mohawk Freak]

Probably, that's why it doesn't happen to me either.

[Scary Guy]

Happy coincidences I say, but everything is always stacked in favor of the house. At least you still have a better chance of winning there than playing the lotto. It's like an extra tax for people that are bad at math.

Oh yeah, and the fact that god's going to pay you money and let people starve to death daily in third world countries. How nice of him.

(sorry, shutting up about it now, promise... unless she points out something else)

[Morella]

Well...Tony just hit another royal, so we won enough money to pay for our hotel stay at the Paris, all of the liquor we drank, and the fuel line that burst on the airplane (we now have a ride home again). I even came out a few hundred ahead, despite my evilness, just by hitting four aces over and over again.

Third world countries can take care of their own problems. I live in the US, and I don't even care about most Americans, much less the evolutionary fallout living (or not) in the rest of the world. Nature will eventually purge that which fails to evolve, and a better world will be formed by those who do. We shouldn't interfere with that.

As for people who can't do math, who is the math expert here? Depending on the payout table, video poker can have payouts of up to 105%.