This might have been discussed but since I'm new.....

[ThePostalJester]

Looking for input. A thread about the Thundertake limo got me thinking. Responses over there were less than kind.

1. Man one buys a hearse and restores it to it's factory condition.
2. Man two buys a hearse and builds a drag car.
3. Man three buys a station wagon and makes his own hearse.

My question is if man 3 shows up at man 1's gathering is he shunned or accepted? If someone wasn't happy with what's available or feels the need for self expression, is it still a "hearse"? I've see a few PT Cruiser styles as hearses but the only coffin they'd carry wouldn't fit a cat. Is that person shunned or is he accepted for his desire to pursue his darker side? And what of man 2? Has he destroyed his hearse in pursuit of his dream?

My own opinion is do what you love. If you have a dark tormented soul...and a Ford Taurus wagon...then go for it!

[LMS]

If I was hosting an event and man 2 showed up in his drag car hearse followed by man 3 in a PT cruiser, arguing with man 1 about who's car is acceptable, then 4 hippies showed up in a prius, I would not care what kind of hearse man 1,2, and 3 each had as long as they helped me pound the hippies into the dirt and smash up the prius.
Seriously if you turn a Taurus wagon into your own version of a hearse you would most likely still be welcome as long as you aren't a douche bag. But why would you not want a real hearse?

[ThePostalJester]

ROTFLMAO!!! Well said. I DON'T want a Taurus wagon! But since I can't afford a hearse right now but DO own a Minivan, I feel it's fair game. Especially since it's a POS. LOL

[sgath92]

Are you asking what should happen or what could/would happen? The response someone will get will depend on what venue they're going to, not every crowd is as laid back as others. There's also a spectrum of how bad someone could react to a car ranging from polite "I won't bring it up, and let them have a good time but I'm going to silently wish they didn't come" all the way to angerly telling them to leave. There used to be a show near me that was hosted by a tattoo parlor, they had a drinking/social club [not a car club] and had a car show every late fall. There was only 1 rule, but to them it was taken really serious: only American brands. If someone had showed up with a Honda assembled in Ohio [like a CR-V] claiming it was an American car because it was assembled here, they would have gotten a response from the more hostile end of that spectrum.

[sgath92]

but DO own a Minivan, I feel it's fair game. Especially since it's a POS. LOL

Some funeral homes use minivans that haven't had any coach work done. They just buy landau bar panels to cover the rear most side windows, take the rear seats out and put down some hardware like you'd see here. If someone got these accessories and installed them properly on a caravan, it would be impossible to distinguish it from a first call caravan that is genuine & been in service.

[ThePostalJester]

Some funeral homes use minivans that haven't had any coach work done. They just buy landau bar panels to cover the rear most side windows, take the rear seats out and put down some hardware like you'd see here. If someone got these accessories and installed them properly on a caravan, it would be impossible to distinguish it from a first call caravan that is genuine & been in service.

That's about what I was thinking except even if I owned a real hearse I would convert it to a family truckster. It would be hearse from the outside only. My intended cargo is still breathing. As for the van, the coroner in my hometown drove a silver caravan like mine. It had vinyl top and the wreath instead of the landau bars.

Something like this...
GrandCountyVan_w_102520121321.jpg

[ThePostalJester]

removed

[60Crown]

Pet peeves that make me snarf are the tacky home built PT/HHR/wagon/minivan faux-hearse conversions where owners are insistent on calling them hearses.

Do whatever you please to the best of your ability. Try not to cut corners or do anything half-assed, then most importantly, call it like it is: creative/fake/ingenious/wannabe/pseudo/fun/custom/interpretation/whatever. Still not a hearse and never will be. Accept that fact.

My ex used to drive an Astro van for removals daily. Perfectly "normal" exterior as it left Chevrolet factory with exception of tinted windows (which according to her didn't upset family members as much as a hearse retrieving a body) yet had a rear stainless floor and two mortuary one man cots inside. There are similar set ups all around in minivans and Suburbans. Not a single one of them is a hearse. They are first call/removal vehicles.

There's already enough misconceptions floating around that most hearse drivers deal with on a regular basis.

Frankly, save up and buy a hearse you like where the possibility of getting any money back out at a later point if needed still remains in play. Pursuing a 'dark tormented soul dream' means you're pissing money away that won't be seen again. If you don't have it to begin with then you probably can't afford to lose any either.

[Honey_Badger]

>>> WARNING - DOUCHE POST <<<

My "opinion" is,

1 & 2 are perfectly acceptable and more than liked in my eyes hence they started as or are "commercial chassis" cars.

3 What the *#&^? NO! Never ever ever ever be considered a hearse!

My reason for this is as follows.

1. All of the hearse owners have had their trials & tribulations on locating their coach. (especially the ones of us that have older ones)

2. There is a major factor of "guarding" our coaches from damage since the replacement glass, trimmings and other coach specific parts are hard to find.

3. A true coach has a true personality and a voice. (Not wanting to start / run simply because it don't feel like waking & the pops and groans rocking into a lot)

4. A hearse will make people side step when it pulls in from a slight tinge of uneasy or utter appreciation. A wanna be, just makes people stare at the weird car.

5. A true coach was built as a classy leader of a procession and a symbol of parlor elegance in its working years. Mini vans & station wagons just lead the charge for getting groceries.

6. A true coach, even if modified will hold a resale value no problem if taken care of. A modded out passenger car will loose value since you built it for you and few like to buy anothers crazy.


This thread just dredges up ghosttard images of hearse's for me. A true hearse is not that expensive to obtain and maintain with few skills. (Ask Ryan, windshield wipers are a feat for him and he still has a great coach). Kudos to those that have built some home grown creepy cars but I just don't have much like to even bother to glance at one sitting somewhere. My past experiences with the owners have been 50/50 as groupies / good fun people. I CANNOT STOMACH GROUPIES.

As for the mini vans,

If it was used in the funeral industry that's great. It is still not a hearse, it is a retrieval unit and should be revered as such.

Home built wanna be hearses (anything that was not sold originally as a funeral car) Please do not park beside me. LOL I am a lesser asshole the further park away from one of my coaches. May even buy you a beer if you park in another row.

Flame away guys! Lol
Trust me, I am not that bad of a douche in person.

I get this award tonight!

[Honey_Badger]

My own opinion is do what you love. If you have a dark tormented soul...and a Ford Taurus wagon...then go for it!

Cool Emo Kid in mom's soccer wagon with Landau stickers on the back windows don't cut it as an adult.

I had to, sorry.

[sgath92]

If it was used in the funeral industry that's great. It is still not a hearse, it is a retrieval unit and should be revered as such.

Wouldn't you say the distinction is kind of blurred these days, when some funeral homes will use a minivan as the go to hearse for cremains? One of the funeral homes the next town over from me uses a T&C as their hearse by default when delivering cremains to cemeteries for grave site services. Its done up like a hearse, real landau bars & vinyl top and all.

I've noticed that I am far more likely to see it in service at those "memorial gardens." You know, the ones where you can have whatever you want as a headstone as long as its nondescript & flat? I guess that says something about its usual clientele: "I want to bury grandad, but first I want him cremated. Then I want him buried in a cemetery, only I want it to be the most boring cemetery you can find, with the plainest flat marker you can find. Also, what's the most boring vehicle you can use to bring him to the gravesite services? I want it to be traditional, yet as vanilla as possible." [probably the same people who only live in strict condo & HOA associations, and only buy cars that are white or silver]. I don't mean that as an insult, there seems to be a group of people out there that does think like that & thats what they want in life. At my grandparents' neighborhood, which is a condo complex, every building is grey and every vehicle is either white or silver [maybe that's why they tolerate my car when I visit]. No outside decorations anywhere to be found, and no one seems to spend time outside. Stopped by one time with some friends and had to explain that no, every unit really is occupied. The neighborhood just looks abandoned because of how sterile it is.

[EternalCombustion]

I personally have never quite understood the interest in making a normal van / station wagon look like a hearse. If a hearse is truly what you want then a hearse can be really be quite affordable if you are patient and wait for the right deal. A friend of mine just picked up a 94 Chevy eagle coach hearse with only 21k miles for $3500. It would be hard to find a regular used car with that low mileage for that price.

As far as what is considered a hearse beyond the norm? I have an extra distinction. While I agree that most normal cars converted to look like a hearse should not be called a hearse. But then we have Greg's Reapers Rod. By all technical accounts, not a hearse. It was built to resemble a hearse but it has never been owned or used by a funeral home for anything. However, if he so chose, he would have people lining up (or at least their families) to use this car for hot rodders funerals. In fact he has had numerous car hobbyist ask him if he would take them on their final ride when the time came.

So, I kind of look at these custom "hearses" in the context of would it be desired to be used as such. I would venture to say that the average van or station wagon with vinyl landau bars would most likely not be requested by anyone to be actually used for a funeral.

Just my 2 cents

[Honey_Badger]

Wouldn't you say the distinction is kind of blurred these days, when some funeral homes will use a minivan as the go to hearse for cremains? One of the funeral homes the next town over from me uses a T&C as their hearse by default when delivering cremains to cemeteries for grave site services. Its done up like a hearse, real landau bars & vinyl top and all.

Even to this day the distinction is not blurred at all. Every current family owned funeral home regards the traditional hearse as their mainstay in final transport. Vans are used as service cars (flowers, removals and maybe runs to the crematory) Rarely they will be used for cremains unless its a pro-bono service or super super tight budgeted family. I have seen and attended several cremain services and they all were delivered in the traditional hearse. I used to do services for other homes and dug too many graves to count. Key sentence is "Its done up like a hearse, real landau bars & vinyl top and all.". It is a van through and through.

I've noticed that I am far more likely to see it in service at those "memorial gardens." You know, the ones where you can have whatever you want as a headstone as long as its nondescript & flat? I guess that says something about its usual clientele: "I want to bury grandad, but first I want him cremated. Then I want him buried in a cemetery, only I want it to be the most boring cemetery you can find, with the plainest flat marker you can find. Also, what's the most boring vehicle you can use to bring him to the gravesite services? I want it to be traditional, yet as vanilla as possible." [probably the same people who only live in strict condo & HOA associations, and only buy cars that are white or silver]. I don't mean that as an insult, there seems to be a group of people out there that does think like that & thats what they want in life. At my grandparents' neighborhood, which is a condo complex, every building is grey and every vehicle is either white or silver [maybe that's why they tolerate my car when I visit]. No outside decorations anywhere to be found, and no one seems to spend time outside. Stopped by one time with some friends and had to explain that no, every unit really is occupied. The neighborhood just looks abandoned because of how sterile it is.

I hope I read you right on this? If not I am sorry and correct me as necessarily.

If this is to the concerns of potential sterility of a meet it is a little off base. I am proud to be a part of the NHAA and all of the unique people that comprise it. I love the individuality of each coach that is involved. My basis of being part of it is Commercial Chassis cars and other unique commercial vehicles.

Being part of the NHAA aligns with my mindset of "I own it and I can modify it without being looked down upon", as I do have mods (aka not 100% original). I also have ties to the PCS as well for my second mindset of certain cars need to be 100% preserved for future generations. BOTH groups have their strengths and weaknesses, however between the 2 & owning multiple coaches it is a perfect storm for me. I have my originals that both appreciate and some mods that the "real" blue collared grease monkeys here appreciate and the PCS would want me to leave on the trailer.

My love for the NHAA of not being sterile is why I lean here more and have better friends. All of my coaches are welcome here.

The PCS is also good to me and I do enjoy a great number of folks there. I just do not align to a great number of their rigid critiques at a meet.

[sgath92]

I hope I read you right on this? If not I am sorry and correct me as necessarily.

If this is to the concerns of potential sterility of a meet it is a little off base. I am proud to be a part of the NHAA and all of the unique people that comprise it. I love the individuality of each coach that is involved. My basis of being part of it is Commercial Chassis cars and other unique commercial vehicles.

I wasn't talking about meets at all, I was talking about those lawn cemeteries which look like this:



They're designed to be as sterile and uniform as possible, with very strict regulations on what is & isn't allowed to cater to the HOA/Condo association crowd [where there is very strict regulation on what is & isn't allowed to go on in a neighborhood], a demographic that wants everything to be sterile & uniform; from the cars they drive, to the homes they live in, to how they bury their dead.

This is my grandparents neighborhood that I was talking about earlier. Now picture what you see in the background as an entire neighborhood. No one outside. No decorations. No cars outside [everything always parked inside with the door shut!]. Every car everyone owned was either silver or white. Everything is by design to be sterile, and uniform. Which for some people, is just how they like it.


The van I mentioned earlier I used to see all the time delivering cremains to one of those "memorial garden" style lawn cemeteries [see picture above] for gravesite services.

[Honey_Badger]

I guess when a topic gets a little strayed upon, I get a little lost. LOL Your pic is a reason why I will not be buried, I will be roasted and then flushed a little at a time when my better half has an ill thought of me.