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Just venting here, but I have to or I am going to kill people...You know what I love?
I love when people make statements that start out with the phrase "You just" or "It just". By way of example: "Oh, you can put a 500 engine in an 83, you just drop it right in there". If ever there was a hallmark of some dumb fucker who has NEVER dropped an engine into ANYTHING and has no clue what they are talking about, it's prefacing a statement about an engine swap with "You just".
You NEVER JUST drop an engine in. Why? Because there's always broken exhaust bolts or some bullshit, and that's if you're lucky. In my case (500 into an 83 in case you hadn't guessed) it's that I took a 500 out of a El Dorado (which is Spanish, fyi, and translates into EL, meaning "The" and DORADO meaning "Biggest fucking mistake Cadillac ever made, attempting a front wheel drive on a huge ass 70's car that is a god damned engineering nightmare and is so ugly it's not fit to pick up a date that is a retarded blind kid in") and I am now shoehorning it into the 83.
The problem? It's that yes, it does fit. It fits like an elephants cock in a cricket. Sure, it goes in but you end up damned near ruining everything because NOTHING is meant to fit in that car, not even the original engine. When you go to bolt the tranny to the engine they did leave you some room to get a wrench in, unfortunately it's about the amount of room that a flea moves it's ass when it fucks a dust speck, which is to say NOT FUCKING MUCH.
Finally there are the engine mounts. If you thought the standard 60-70's Caddy mounts sucked, well then you just haven't seen the 80's ones yet. There is NO play in them at all.
Oh, did I mention that I am doing this in a dirt driveway? I didn't!? Well that's cuz it's actually a half truth, I am doing it in a dirt and ROCK driveway because some fucking genius who had this house before me decided "Oh hey, dirt driveways suck, let's throw some rocks in the mix so that when people work on their cars it will dig into their backs and make rolling an engine hoist harder than finding a polar bear blinking in a snow storm". Thanks assholes.
I love when people make statements that start out with the phrase "You just" or "It just". By way of example: "Oh, you can put a 500 engine in an 83, you just drop it right in there". If ever there was a hallmark of some dumb fucker who has NEVER dropped an engine into ANYTHING and has no clue what they are talking about, it's prefacing a statement about an engine swap with "You just".
You NEVER JUST drop an engine in. Why? Because there's always broken exhaust bolts or some bullshit, and that's if you're lucky. In my case (500 into an 83 in case you hadn't guessed) it's that I took a 500 out of a El Dorado (which is Spanish, fyi, and translates into EL, meaning "The" and DORADO meaning "Biggest fucking mistake Cadillac ever made, attempting a front wheel drive on a huge ass 70's car that is a god damned engineering nightmare and is so ugly it's not fit to pick up a date that is a retarded blind kid in") and I am now shoehorning it into the 83.
The problem? It's that yes, it does fit. It fits like an elephants cock in a cricket. Sure, it goes in but you end up damned near ruining everything because NOTHING is meant to fit in that car, not even the original engine. When you go to bolt the tranny to the engine they did leave you some room to get a wrench in, unfortunately it's about the amount of room that a flea moves it's ass when it fucks a dust speck, which is to say NOT FUCKING MUCH.
Finally there are the engine mounts. If you thought the standard 60-70's Caddy mounts sucked, well then you just haven't seen the 80's ones yet. There is NO play in them at all.
Oh, did I mention that I am doing this in a dirt driveway? I didn't!? Well that's cuz it's actually a half truth, I am doing it in a dirt and ROCK driveway because some fucking genius who had this house before me decided "Oh hey, dirt driveways suck, let's throw some rocks in the mix so that when people work on their cars it will dig into their backs and make rolling an engine hoist harder than finding a polar bear blinking in a snow storm". Thanks assholes.
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