HEARSEMAS PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Chaser]

My Place, 7:00 pm this saturday the 22nd, byob.

We Wish ya a merry hearsemas,
we wish ya a merry hearsemas,
we wish ya a merry hearsemas,
and a dead new year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[customhearse]

The Pro-Car Christmas Song

(sung to "chestnuts roasting on an open fire...")


Hearses basking beneath leafless trees,
soaking up the dwindling heat.
Ambulances ambling with their lights all aglow, and Combos cruising down the street.

Everybody knows a pro-car makes a merry ride; with wreaths and tinsel in the grille.
Twinkling lights framed by dark satin pleats sure make a festive window sill.

We know these cars; some people fear.
But they can sure hold lots of toys upon their biers! And there's no other car, that you can see, that can transport a decorated tree!

And so, I'm offering this simple phrase;
to kids from one to ninety-two.
Though it seems strange
to be heard from a hearse:
Merry Christmas to you.

[customhearse]

Deck the Hearse
.
Deck the hearse with boughs of holly.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Make the landau bars look jolly.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
String a garland cross the bonnet.
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Throw a ton of tinsel on it.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
.
.
Little elves behind the curtains.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Make a festive car for certain.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Candy canes hung from the fender.
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
What a joyful coach they render.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
.
.
Hit the lights and start them gleaming.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Blip your siren, get it screaming.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Check your amperage indicator.
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Buy another alternator.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

[customhearse]

Sung to the tune of Rudolph the red nose reindeer....


You know Henney, Eureka, S&S, Cunningham, Miller-Meteor, and Cotner-Bevington
But do you recall the most famous hightop of all?

Superior the high top pro-car
had lots of shinning lights they say.
And if they all were turned on
you would think that night was day.

There were times like October
when she was told to go away.
Knott's only wanted pro-cars
that took people to the grave

Then one foggy Christmas eve
Santa came to say,
"P.E.T.A. stole my deer, Oy Vey!
Won't you help me on my way?

Now the hearses all are jealous
Cause Halloween ain't everyday
and Superior the high top pro-car
is proud to become Santa's sleigh!