Damn, whatever you do, if you're not going to take my word for it, try asking someone else who has kid(s), a cottage cheese ass and stretch marks whether or not it might possibly have been more fun to do ski trips, sex, white water rafting, sex, a new boat, sex, a blower popping out of the hood of your coach, sex, a pair of Harleys, sex, and a trip around the world. I never could have kids of my own, so I missed out on the fat ass and stretch marks (except the ones that I got from gaining and losing weight). My ovaries didn't work right or something, and they didn't start fixing things until I had health insurance. Maybe that's why I'm 18' tall. Geez, I'm just an open book, aren't I? Not a secret am I burdened to hold.
Anyway, if you think the 2am feedings are bad, wait until every scorned little boy in a young man's body wants to slash your tires and come after your daughter with a gun.
I like to think that I'm a reasonably good person, especially among human beings, but the only thing that is keeping me here right now is that I've got nowhere else to go, with my crippled ass. I had to learn about 25 or so misconceptions that Jenny (16)'s drug-dealing dropout boyfriend (18) had about me, one of which was that I was too stupid to tap the phone line, by tapping the phone line. When Jenny got home, we talked them all out, starting with the aforementioned. It's legal if you notify both parties and the phone company, and let them opt out...and if this motherfucker threatens to slash my tires again, I'm going to opt his happy dappy ass into jail for having sex with a minor. Jenny refused to believe that he was a drug dealer, so I dropped a few bucks into his hand, and in less than an hour, he was back with an ounce of pot. I wish I had called the cops and turned them both over, the weed and the boyfriend, but I ended up flushing it. I guess I'm too old to get high anymore, at least under these stressful conditions, and I didn't want the stuff around here where it could get me into trouble. As it is, Jenny spends all of her time over at the drug dealer's house, whose parents are always high, and she's probably going to ride to jail with the rest of them when the door gets kicked in.
I told her that I didn't want her around that guy, but she thinks that she loves him. Then I told her that the state requires me to be a parent, and if I can't do it, I either find her one, or the state does. That may help.
Unfortunately, her boyfriend is trying to turn our family against each other over the most common reason for a splitup...money, so I cancelled my trip to Dallas.
If I followed you home, would you keep me? What if I brought my coach?
(sigh)
-denise
Anyway, if you think the 2am feedings are bad, wait until every scorned little boy in a young man's body wants to slash your tires and come after your daughter with a gun.
I like to think that I'm a reasonably good person, especially among human beings, but the only thing that is keeping me here right now is that I've got nowhere else to go, with my crippled ass. I had to learn about 25 or so misconceptions that Jenny (16)'s drug-dealing dropout boyfriend (18) had about me, one of which was that I was too stupid to tap the phone line, by tapping the phone line. When Jenny got home, we talked them all out, starting with the aforementioned. It's legal if you notify both parties and the phone company, and let them opt out...and if this motherfucker threatens to slash my tires again, I'm going to opt his happy dappy ass into jail for having sex with a minor. Jenny refused to believe that he was a drug dealer, so I dropped a few bucks into his hand, and in less than an hour, he was back with an ounce of pot. I wish I had called the cops and turned them both over, the weed and the boyfriend, but I ended up flushing it. I guess I'm too old to get high anymore, at least under these stressful conditions, and I didn't want the stuff around here where it could get me into trouble. As it is, Jenny spends all of her time over at the drug dealer's house, whose parents are always high, and she's probably going to ride to jail with the rest of them when the door gets kicked in.
I told her that I didn't want her around that guy, but she thinks that she loves him. Then I told her that the state requires me to be a parent, and if I can't do it, I either find her one, or the state does. That may help.
Unfortunately, her boyfriend is trying to turn our family against each other over the most common reason for a splitup...money, so I cancelled my trip to Dallas.
If I followed you home, would you keep me? What if I brought my coach?
(sigh)
-denise
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