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Jenny woke up the other day with lines of what looked like mosquito bites all up and down her veins. Her bed was full of bedbugs, vampire bugs that feed on human blood at night.
Now that so many people are travelling, they are spreading like wildfire, even in 5-star hotels. They like to travel in luggage.
These things grow in four stages, and the small ones look like they could actually burrrow into your veins. They look like long grain rice. Maybe they can, because there were some spilled pieces of dog food under one of the kitchen cabinets. We used IAMS (the dog is gone now), which probably smelled like meat. I never used that cheap corn dog food that just ends up in your yard. Anyway, they burrowed through every bit of those spilled pieces and turned them to powder, looking for blood. Even though they are vampire bugs, coming out at night to feed, they can live for a year without "feeding".
I haven't gotten any lines of bumps, perhaps because I am very clean, and Jenny is a pig who throws her clean clothes on the floor with her dirty clothes. She had living bugs and bug shit (like a blood stain, only worse, on her sheets, which she hasn't washed for a year or two). They were all over in her mattress seams too. Mine were clean, but I steamed my mattresses anyway.
Here are some tips for dealing with them:
1. Don't fuck around. Make an appointment with an exterminator. These things can lay 300 eggs a day, and live for a year without feeding. This means that the number of bugs you will have is one fuck of an exponent, if you're into math.
2. If you want to kill one instantly, they are immune to most bug killers. Gumout carb cleaner will kill them instantly, and it looks like they turn them into copper statues. It's a strange effect.
3.) Surf the net and get every idea you can (until your exterminator can get there). Many pest control companies have online coupons.
4.) Wear high-top, tight-fitting underwear. They may not be sexy, but neither is having bugs crawl into places where you definitely don't want them, and I have read horror stories that they do. Pajamas and footies too...cover everything up. You can put off sex long enough to get rid of those bugs. Remember that they're attracted to blood, and I don't want to embarass anybody, just remember that.
5.) Patch any holes or cracks if your house is on concrete.
6.) Make sure that your bed is on a frame. Coat the legs and wheels with Vaseline, so that they can't climb up, and don't let your bed touch a wall.
Hope this helps. It's a thousand times worse than finding cockroaches, and something I've never seen in my 20 years in Tucson. The exterminator may have to come back twice, so be sure to "fuck, shit, goddamit, Obama, etc.", and put a dollar in your swear jar each time.
-denise
Now that so many people are travelling, they are spreading like wildfire, even in 5-star hotels. They like to travel in luggage.
These things grow in four stages, and the small ones look like they could actually burrrow into your veins. They look like long grain rice. Maybe they can, because there were some spilled pieces of dog food under one of the kitchen cabinets. We used IAMS (the dog is gone now), which probably smelled like meat. I never used that cheap corn dog food that just ends up in your yard. Anyway, they burrowed through every bit of those spilled pieces and turned them to powder, looking for blood. Even though they are vampire bugs, coming out at night to feed, they can live for a year without "feeding".
I haven't gotten any lines of bumps, perhaps because I am very clean, and Jenny is a pig who throws her clean clothes on the floor with her dirty clothes. She had living bugs and bug shit (like a blood stain, only worse, on her sheets, which she hasn't washed for a year or two). They were all over in her mattress seams too. Mine were clean, but I steamed my mattresses anyway.
Here are some tips for dealing with them:
1. Don't fuck around. Make an appointment with an exterminator. These things can lay 300 eggs a day, and live for a year without feeding. This means that the number of bugs you will have is one fuck of an exponent, if you're into math.
2. If you want to kill one instantly, they are immune to most bug killers. Gumout carb cleaner will kill them instantly, and it looks like they turn them into copper statues. It's a strange effect.
3.) Surf the net and get every idea you can (until your exterminator can get there). Many pest control companies have online coupons.
4.) Wear high-top, tight-fitting underwear. They may not be sexy, but neither is having bugs crawl into places where you definitely don't want them, and I have read horror stories that they do. Pajamas and footies too...cover everything up. You can put off sex long enough to get rid of those bugs. Remember that they're attracted to blood, and I don't want to embarass anybody, just remember that.
5.) Patch any holes or cracks if your house is on concrete.
6.) Make sure that your bed is on a frame. Coat the legs and wheels with Vaseline, so that they can't climb up, and don't let your bed touch a wall.
Hope this helps. It's a thousand times worse than finding cockroaches, and something I've never seen in my 20 years in Tucson. The exterminator may have to come back twice, so be sure to "fuck, shit, goddamit, Obama, etc.", and put a dollar in your swear jar each time.
-denise
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