First time hearse shopping... advice?

[Mercury]

So my first car (finally) died and I am going to buy myself a hearse.

I seem to be having pretty good luck finding them in my price range ($1,000-3,500) and most of the ones I have been looking at are in good condition. My biggest dilemma is knowing what exactly I should be looking for aside from the usual no rust, low miles, few owners etc list.

Will I be made fun of if I drive a Buick Roadmaster? Will I eternally regret suicide doors? Is red vinyl too flashy? Will I seem lame if I don't splurge for vanity plates?

I am feeling a bit over whelmed by my options and unsure of how to prioritize.

[Abnorml]

This link should answer some, if not all your questions. http://www.hearseclub.com/resources/...ingahearse.htm

[Mercury]

lol I actually just finished reading that right before you posted that link.

It did answer a lot of my questions, but not the ones I am struggling the most with. I am as financially prepared as I will ever be, and though I could stand to learn a bit more about working on cars I have family members willing to teach me.

I will try and be more specific...
My biggest concern is the social and repair logistics of using a hearse as a daily driver. Is it an unreasonable thought? Right now I am looking for something as new as a funeral home will part with. Will this make keeping it fully functional manageable?

[Scary Guy]

Hey, glad you found your way here. I put up a smaller guide on my site over at http://www.mortiscity.com/about.php near the bottom of the page. I like some of your questions and might even add to it a bit.

Older cars will get you more street cred. I like the 80's style myself but I've heard them referred to as "shitbox hearses" but really it's whatever you like. Also newer cars will run better and it will be a bit easier to find parts for them. If you get a Buick only Cadillac and Lincoln owners will laugh at you, however Pontiac owners will say nothing because they have no room to talk (kidding, you might get a few jabs but a hearse is still a hearse.) Also vanity plates just mean you were dumb enough to give the government more money but most hearse drivers seem to like them.

[Flymanj3]

As for repairs, it's a car... and just like any car the newer and lowest mileage will cost less for repairs in the short run. Some parts (body & heavy duty suspension) may be a bit harder to find, but not that bad.
Nothing wrong with a Buick - I like the stretched ones... not the standard Wheelbase with the BIG ASS END.
As for Social - if you're worried about 'flashy'... dude, it's a HEARSE... you are gonna 'stick out' no mater where you go or what the Coach looks like. And if you're worried about "What will OTHER people think of me", then don't bother... Frankly, you're not ready for a Hearse.

[Guest]

i would not really recommend one as a daily driver, but you can manage it, depending on where you drive.

This car is going to be +/- 20 feet long, and fairly wide, which means it is going to be hard to park. You need to consider what kinds of places you drive, and what kinds of places you have to park in. If you're traveling a lot to a downtown area, parking in tight places, or in parking decks, i would not recommend this.

In terms of social, your neighbors can make your life a living hell if they're not cool. If you live in a subdivision, the home owners association can even put liens on your house. Not to mention that some of us here have had problems with vandals. I would make sure you have a secure, inconspicuous place to park it. I would think twice about getting one if you have to park it on the street, or just in the driveway.

I think you would enjoy it more if you had a different car as a daily driver. That way you can keep the mileage down on it. you can enjoy driving it on the weekends, and it will stay "special." the novelty might wear off pretty fast if you have to commute everyday and deal with the parking/etc.

[Scary Guy]

and it will stay "special." the novelty might wear off pretty fast if you have to commute everyday and deal with the parking/etc.

Maybe for you, but I still get that warm fuzzy feeling when dealing with mine. Although I will admit lately that's been offset a bit by the "reentry" feeling I get at high speeds on turns.

[Zachary]

Personally, I believe that if your primary interest is in having A hearse then don't get too hung up on the specifics. I think when most people get into it they want a big car with a landau bar and they haven't yet refined their tastes to a point where they are picky about what they get, which is a good thing. When I got into this the hearses that were "just out of service" were all 70's. These days the equivalent is 80's and 90's, so don't let the fact that it's a newer hearse dissuade you style wise, 80-90's are now what comprise most hearse clubs and have their charms. If you're lucky enough to not have a specific preference that opens you up to a LOT better deals.

You asked about getting the "Newest" hearse a funeral home would part with...that as a general rule is helpful but not ALWAYS the answer. By way of example, my 1981 Superior VS. Desiree's 1991 Superior, the 91 was in service less time, is a newer car with a supposedly more reliable engine. My 81 was worked hard, has a body that proves it and was NEVER properly maintained. She has also had a vicious rod knock since 2005. The 81 NEVER lets me down, EVER. I have never been stranded because of that car and it's never refused to start and carry me through a bad time. The 91 for all intents and purposes SHOULD be a better more reliable car but strands us, busts shocks, eats alternators and generally fucks us harder than a discount pimp. My central point here is that a car that appears obviously better, isn't always. Hearses and old cars in general have personalities and it's best to go with the feeling you get from them as to their worth. See it, fall in love with it? Screw the rest, that's your car right there.

As for social ramifications? Meh... it's become a LOT more acceptable lately to drive hearses, partially because clubs in every state have appeared and bring the hobby into the public eye a little more, it's also one of the few scenes among the car crowd that HASN'T been played out yet. Rat rods, hot rods, they've been done so much there ISN'T a cliche in the book they haven't pounded to death, but hearses are still such a new scene that aside from a few cliches we've got a pretty original hobby. So it's mostly good, but it still never hurts to be careful with your car. Going to Dennys at 2:00 AM in the hick part of town? Park where you can see your car from inside, avoid parking on high traffic street corners, that sort of thing will minimize your odds of someone screwing with your car as well.

You'll still have people, possibly friends, who won't like your hearse and will do the ever annoying "Ewwww" thing, which is of course a solid indicator that you've selected retards as your friends and can use the hearse as an easy way of identifying them then purging them from your social circle so that you can go back to being an awesome hearse driver and they can go back to eating their own boogers and watching Jersey Shore.

[Mercury]

With all that advice in mind, I am about to go to the bank and continue hearse shopping

My neighbors are almost as weird as I am, and parking should be easy as long as I can keep it from dripping on my dads driveway. I'm a bit worried about vandalism, my dad collects funerary memorabilia and tombstones and I have seen what dumb kids can do first hand. (un)fortunately the cops love to prowl around our house so I'm thinking that won't be unreasonable. I'm trying to convince my dad to let me park it behind the house and just off the driveway, so it won't be visible from the street.... but that's a slow battle.

I love driving huge vehicles.... so far the biggest I have been able to get my hands on was a 1999 70-seater bluebird schoolbus, and the most fun I have ever had driving around town was a 1947 chevy bus. My last car was a POS saturn, and I am never driving something smaller then a fuller-sized van ever again.

Unfortunately I can not justify owning two vehicles since I have no life and don't go much of anywhere, so the only way I can get a hearse is to have it as my primary vehicle. I would rather lose all my style points on a hearse then to buy a different car, so even though I would prefer something from the 40's or 50's, the 90's ones are still pretty awesome. I am prepared to put money into a car that I love, but not ready for a classic car.

That all being said maybe I will be able to post pictures soon

[Scary Guy]

K, just be careful where you park in that thing, especially concerning the lot of city club. I was stuck their until 8 AM once after a Collective event because I got blocked in by two cars behind me, one in front, and one on each side. Simply didn't have the turning radius to back out and not hit a car (maybe I did, but it was too close to call and I wasn't going to chance it.) Now I just park it on an angle like a douche usually by that utility poll if I can.

[Mohawk Freak]

Lots of good stuff said here. Don't look to the world for permission to be yourself. Buy a hearse if you want one. No matter who you are or what you do there will always be those with something bad to say. As long as you treat others with respect and honesty, odds are people will respect you in return. Those who don't aren't important enough to care about. Good luck to you.

[Hearse_Guy]

there were alot of good things said her and on that note i look forward to seeing pictures soon

[Guest]

also, a car cover can help. It will be a PAIN IN THE ASS to deal with when it rains, but if you can get a big enough one, it will help reduce the "visual impact" and may make it less of a target for vandals/unwanted attention.

[v8nightmare]

[QUOTE=ryan_ricks;50560
In terms of social, your neighbors can make your life a living hell if they're not cool. If you live in a subdivision, the home owners association can even put liens on your house.[/QUOTE]

No Shit?! Really? In that case I guess i should be nicer to my neighbors, pass out cookies around the culdesac or something...

[Tulsa Guy]

Picture driving the largest blind spot you've ever experienced, and prepare for folks not having the guts to even pull up side by side at a light!
Find a good runnin' coach, don't expect to revive a dead one unless you're mechanically minded. (Thats how I wound up with four dead ones and one legitimate runner!)
My neighbors are cool with mine, hell, I'm "the hearse guy"......but as stated all over this thread, don't expect that treatment everywhere.......
Good Luck!