My new Obama mower

[Morella]

I just bought a new lawn mower, and one of the first things that I noticed when I unpacked it was a big sticker stating that it complied with all government safety regulations. *sigh* My lawn mower will not run unless I am constantly squeezing the handle. Yes, I let go of the handle and the engine dies. That's just fucking brilliant. So I can't stop mowing for a second and clear a tree limb, or a small child, out of the way of the mower without going to the trouble of starting the engine again? Why was this feature implemented? Because some drunken moron tried to reach underneath his mower with the engine running? What does that have to do with me, and my lawn mower?

Yes, I understand that Obama did not, personally, design my new lawn mower, but he is an icon for big government and stupidity, and so it fits.

[Guest]

PRO TIP: use some string or small diameter rope to tie a knot and make a "cruise control"

[Scary Guy]

PRO TIP: use some string or small diameter rope to tie a knot and make a "cruise control"

What he said, and I'd like to point out that this "feature" has existed before Obama was in office. I remember something like it when I mowed my grandparent's lawn and I haven't done that since I started to avoid sunlight back in 1997.

[Grayhouse13]

Well as much as I am not a fan of Ol' P.BO Im afraid we cant blame him for this lawn mower issue and Nope you cant blame BUSH either I dont think you can even blame Reagan, But I am pretty sure you can Blame some Ambulance chasing Attorney for this. so "Ol' Willy was right Lets kill all the lawers" But you know they're Blaming Bush for everything so what the hell it is P.Bo's fault..

[Flymanj3]

You could always get a Goat - problem solved

[Morella]

No, I don't blame Obama for my lawn mower, specifically...wait, didn't I explain that already? Yes, I know that I can modify the mower to suit my needs, although it will probably void the warranty. My point is that we are becoming a dumbed-down, government-regulated society, and that is in line with Obama's agenda. Having an RPM control on the mower, being able to put the mower on idle, or reduce the RPM to go through thin grass, is just too complicated. It's "squeeze handle and it goes", simple enough for any moron to use, and safe enough to keep people from hurting themselves. It's just one of my pet peeves, kind of like the lock that keeps you from putting a car in reverse unless the brake pedal is pressed...is there anyone out there stupid enough not to realize that the car will roll if you take it out of "park"? Yet the Jewish ambulance chaser law firms actually advertised that anyone who was injured in a wreck because a car did not have this device should give them a call.

And yes, they are Jewish...that's why their names are Jacobie, Meyers, Osborne, Goldberg, Schwartz, Levenbaum, Cohen, etc.

[Otto Baron]

Even if it isn't Obama's fault, blame him anyway. It's fun, and educational.

[Beladona_13]

I didn't mow the lawn this year... I told my partner Amanda that I wouldn't mow it unles she washed her damned truck. No wash, no mow... long grass and dirty truck. I guess the means we are just stubborn white trash! :P:

[Scary Guy]

I didn't mow the lawn this year... I told my partner Amanda that I wouldn't mow it unles she washed her damned truck. No wash, no mow... long grass and dirty truck. I guess the means we are just stubborn white trash! :P:

Just so long as you don't live in an area where you can get ticketed for not mowing your lawn.

[Grayhouse13]

The problem with a goat is the same jerks that made the rules for lawn mowers will start to whine about the methane emissions from the goat not to mention the Liability concerns from it biting said child, and then your right back were you started. WooHoo!!

[Psychoholic]

I'm just not at angry - use a cable clamp and move on

[Morella]

Well, I'm surprised that some young person hasn't actually jumped in to defend the Obama Mower and its many safety features. Did I mention that they also changed the horsepower rating to torque, so that they can put a big "5" on a 3-HP engine?

And yes, I do understand that Briggs and Stratton, not Obama, made that change, but I still hate the son of a bitch. Not all "change" is a good thing. I've watched the auto industry, for instance, change for the worse, since I was 15 years old. Just getting old enough to get one of those nice, classy luxo-barges that my grandmother used to drive (yes, that's what I wanted), and they quit making them. My new chain saw has the starter rope in the wrong place, so that it has to be pulled straight up, and I can't work the trigger while I'm pulling it, no matter how many flimsy plastic safety devices I hold down. I'm sure that it's a safety feature, to keep people like me from holding it out by the handle and starting it, but I am not going to be a geek and put the saw on the floor and stick my foot through it to start it. Of course, I can't read the damned controls on it, because, like everything else that is made now, everything is in hieroglyphics...something that is made for stupid and illiterate folks, I guess, but...they've made it so stupid that only stupid people can read it. Does that mean that I'm too stupid now, or do I need to go back to public school, where, perhaps, they're teaching kids to read those hieroglyphics instead of English?

You young folks think of me when you get close to 50. That's when this stuff really starts to bug you.

[Flymanj3]

You young folks think of me when you get close to 50. That's when this stuff really starts to bug you.

Ya, and what about pill bottles... pull up... push down... squeeze sides.... wack with a 10oz. hammer...

[dodgerider666]

Noooo my fav is lighters I dont smoke but I love lighters and the all the crap they slap on them pisses me off I have to get a pliers and rip stuff off the lighter just so it works every time.

[JustCadaver]

Ya, and what about pill bottles... pull up... push down... squeeze sides.... wack with a 10oz. hammer...

10oz well to truly open one you need a sledge hammer. Sure it may be over kill...
As for the safety features I have to agree they are getting out of hand... I found out an interesting fact the new cars today are mad to crumple up upon impact... Which is all good and stuff but if you are only going 5mph and hit another vehicle both cars are messed up. I know because I was backing my hearse into my drive way so I move my 1966 Mustang in front of my house parked on the street and when I got into my hearse and was backing into the drive way I seen a 2007 Blue Saturn rolling into my Mustang. No one was in either vehicle but the 2007 Saturn had a crease from the back fender to the front fender and yellow paint all down it. Cost a whole lot for her to get her car fixed and all it did to my mustang was scrap the yellow paint off of the back fender. To top it off my back fenders are rusted out and it still did not make a dent. I love old cars they are like tanks I love my hearse it is a tank... I am safer in my vehicles then people around me.