Sadly, no Edna.

[Morella]

Step out of the car....face the front of the automobile and put your hands straight out to your side....

wait a minute--I am regressing back to my old profession!

I was gonna say Catholic Priest, but they made a concerted effort to get the altar boy fuckers out of there :

They started allowing altar girls. Hopefully that has put them back into the good graces of Gaw-aw-aw-duh.



And if I've offended any Catholics, all I can say is, go to hell. I've already been there. It was a long, long time ago, but as I recall, Jesus and I were going to have a Guinness, but my plane left a day before his. Oh meybe ah dreemed it.

-denise ( species Ultrablasphemous Heathenessia)

[Morella]

Oops, shit. I keep forgetting that we're not supposed to use naughty language in this forum. This isn't the tomb, is it?

-denise (species Submemorius Elquentiadickatuatabungus)

[JustGrim]

Don't know if the 40 year original alternator was damaged or not from the hook up--I just saw how he had it wired when I was putting on the new alt and made the correction. You are correct in 3 connection points (one of which is a plug in which would have been difficult even for him to mess up) and the other two are bolt/nut types--it is these two that were both grounded. It is possible the battery just gave up the ghost after being driven 2 hours by Missghoulina with the alt not giving it any recharge.

[Zachary]

I know you're not really asking for an opinion or advice here, but I feel obligated to offer you an unsolicited helping of both...

First off, really sorry to hear that the hearse didn't work out for you. Sucks getting close and then not getting it, I have been down that road under different circumstances before.

Here is honestly though the best advice I can give if you plan to be a hearse owner - you are going to have to toughen up.

These vehicles are not beautiful, glossy black works of automotive art. They are hellish, unforgiving bitch whores that are not happy until every last ounce of your money and patience have been exhausted. There are three words every hearse wants to hear you whisper, and it isn't "I love you" it's actually the words "I give up"

I am not trying to be a dick here, really, but if you want to own a hearse you have to be prepared to be more stubborn and bitchy than the hearse itself. You know how people look at someone and go "Man, they just don't know when to give it UP!" well, you have to be someone who just doesn't know when to call it quits because hearses are tough fucking cars to own. If you don't have patience and a willingness to deal with constant mechanical failures, they WILL eat you up.

One question I LOVE when people ask me, it is the question that tells me they are living in an alternate reality that I only wish really existed... it is the question "So yeah, I want to buy a hearse but I want something that gets good gas mileage and doesn't break down! What hearse should I buy!?"

Well, if such a hearse existed don't you think we'd all be driving them ourselves? We sure as hell would, and we'd park them right next to the leprechaun and the pot of gold in our driveways too.

No matter how well an old hearse was treated, it is going to break down and it is only going to get worse over time. Every part of a cars drive train is based on one thing - metal moving around. Metal can only move around for so long before it heats and cools or rubs together too many times and breaks. Cars are not really mechanical triumphs, they are little self destruct devices. Some count down slower than others but in the end everything will break.

My honest advice is to expect exactly this sort of problem and don't count yourself as cursed, count yourself as lucky that it took X many hours to happen. Get a thicker skin and prepare for the worst, otherwise you are going to get very discouraged and burnt out on hearse ownership.

And again, let me assure you, I am not trying to condescend to you or discourage you, I am just trying to drive home the points that you need to take into account so these cars don't hand your ass to you.

[Scary Guy]

If you want something good gas mileage that doesn't break down you get a new hearse, but you'd need that pot of gold to afford one.

[missghoulina]

Not to be a bitch, but I knew all that.

I was fully aware that she wasn't going to be perfect -- no vintage car is. They all need TLC and restoration.

I'm kind of tired of saying it, but yes, I knew driving a 40 year old car ten hours wasn't the best of ideas. Yes, I knew that she'd need work.

I don't think I'll ever have the cash for a fully restored, perfect hearse -- nor do I want one. I want the satisfaction of working on it, and bringing her back to life.

My time will come, and I will find the coach that is meant for me, and that's really all there is to it.

Edna is with Rick now, and getting some love and care from someone who loves and appreciates hearses, so I'm okay with that.

But I really do appreciate you guys being here, and being so generous and helpful, and I couldn't ask for more from fellow hearse-lovers.

[Morella]

I deleted my last message, partially because it sounded stupid, but also because it was intended to be general mechanical advice for everyone, and I'm not sure that it was taken in that spirit. I also don't recommend causing permanent injuries to anyone.

-denise (species Deletia Odinateurastupidia)

[Morella]

I think I screwed up my last message. Anyway, this is what you look like when do your own work. No one will ever want to touch you again.

[missghoulina]

No one who's responded to my posts has sounded stupid, or condescending, or anything negative.

I read everyone's advice and store it away for later, I never throw away good advice.

And you and Zach had a lot of good points, ones which I am thankful for, as well as everyone else's tips and help.

So, in that spirit, let's all just have a good day.

[StrayCat]

The truth is this, ( and by saying this i am opening myself up for ganci, tony and several others to make fun of me), but you NEVER truely know what you are going to be dealing with, especially by word of mouth on the condition. Here's some real life experiences of mine.....

I bought a 1959 cadillac 4 door from a place in utah. I was told it ran great, then when the truck got there the "fuel pump" went out. But it was on the truck and on it's way to me. When I got there she was beautiful, new baby blue paint, looked almost showroom, i go to start it and the guy laughs and says "it isnt going to run". I get it home and all the valves had seized and the pushrods were bent all to hell, i had to do a complete top end job on it.

Now the reverse..........

i went to a junk yard after being told there was an old hearse in it. ganci and i get there and sure enough there is a 1970 m&m combo there. it looked rough. I pour some transmission fluid in it, put a new battery in it, and drove it 30 miles home. I then in turn,( and this is where ganci and everyone is gonna give me shit, they always do) I drove it to cincinatti ohio and traded it for a 4 door limo (like a dumbass) that broke down 2 weeks after getting it home and it never ran again.......

I spent 10,000.00 on that 59 caddy.


I spent 500.00 on the 70 combo.

my advice is this. always look. never stop looking. and never stop saving a little to put towards your car. You never know what you will find or for how much. Someone just posted a 68 side loader on here thats 650 bucks. If i had not just gotten the 51 plymouth, i would be walking the fuck up there to get it if i had to.

[Highbars]

I got one you can bring back to life...Needs a little body work...Just a little...LOL....check Albums...I'll look for the keys....